Amnesty

Every man's got troubles, every man, every man
He is born is a bramble to find his way if he can
There's a path through the woods to a happier land
But the signs are in a language he can barely understand

I have flailed in the tangle, I have tripped on the vine
But the fruit still dangles out of reach every time
I return like a killer to the scene of the crime
I'm laying low and waiting for a sign - there will be

Amnesty Amnesty
Let every woman and man agree
There will be amnesty

When you're lost and you've fallen and you cry and you cry
You can cling, you can cower, you can run, you can lie
But there's great constellations spinning round in the sky
And they will be your witness
   — and maybe if you try— there will be

Amnesty Amnesty
Let every woman and man agree
There will be amnesty

I am good at forgetting
A bad memory
And closing up my eyes when I don't want to see
And there's some people I've left no choice
but to try to forget about me
But that's not the forgetting that we need

We need Amnesty Amnesty
Let every woman and man agree
There will be amnesty

©1998 Eric Nicolas

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Make Amends

All alone I went a-walkin down where no one would be kicking leaves but me
East of Eden cross the FDR to River Park where no one disrespects your privacy
And as I gazed into the river waters cold and grey as Joe McCarthy's ghost
My reflections ran to bridges and abysses and the girl I loved the most

Now love is bridges but abysses widen round you from the time a child can crawl
And given real life, it's a miracle that there is ever any love at all
But like some elements in chemistry some people leap across that space and bond
And once that bond is broken you cannot repair it no matter how you wave that magic wand

I have been sorry all my life, I don't know what I've done
And ever since I've had to prove myself to everyone
I'm doing it here and now with you today my friends
Oh won't you help me make amends

With the twilight coming down I see her face before me like I usually do
Now she is in some other place and in some other life and I guess to her I'm in some other too
And in the whole sordid human history of betrayals I know my little black crimes fade down to gray
But if I had it to do over I'd do better like I do it in my mind's eye everyday

I have been sorry all my life, I don't know what I 've done
But ever since, I've had to prove I'm bad to everyone
Which brings me here and now to you today my friends
Oh won't you help me make amends

I know good Catholics have a system for this kind of thing
Medieval flagellants could sleep at night despite the sting
In old-style Islam they just fuck you up if you do wrong
And politicians know what don't convict you makes you strong
And some guys actually get their heads straight when they're in the joint
And with prescription drugs the whole thing is beside the point

But all alone I go a-walking down where no one's gonna know my face or care
To meet what might have been down by the river—
Might as well, 'cause it is always there

I have been sorry all my life I don't know what I done
But since that deep down day I've disappointed everyone
I'm asking here and now of you today my friends
Oh won't you help me make amends

Don't tell me longing for forgiveness never ends
Oh won't you help me make amends

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Cassandra

Cassandra used to keep my picture round her room
Until she turned into a prophetess of doom
She used to be a Pollyanna
But that was long ago
Now after all she's been through
If she says something, it's so

Cassandra gave me good news
Cassandra gave me good news today
Cassandra said that everything would be OK
That's not something Cassandra would just say
That's not something Cassandra would just say

We had to say goodbye because because because
As long as she loved me, I'd stay the way I was
Dependent on her faithful heart
But holding back my own
I was afraid that I was made to spend my life alone

Cassandra gave me good news...
That's not something Cassandra would just say (3x)

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Penelope's Bed

I set out from home to seek and to fight
And I've thrilled to the song of the sirens at night
I've thought of myself as a wandering king
But I wonder sometimes if I'm just wandering

At night when I'm sleeping, wherever I am
My soul slips away and it flies across land
And it flies over oceans so wide and so deep
And it kneels by the side of my wife fast asleep

And it kisses her there
And it touches her hair
And it searches for signs in that beautiful face
That I am still king in my favorite place

Penelope's bed is carved in a tree
It's strong and alive and it waits there for me
With its roots in the ground, green leaves by her head
And I long to sleep in Penelope's bed

When I was a boy I'd run and I'd shout
And I'd dream of the things that a boy dreams about
And I ran away from home a time or two
But I knew home was always there to run back to

Now I still run away
And eventually
I'll have run far enough and been gone for so long
I'll be king all alone in this blind poet's song

Penelope's bed... How I long to sleep in Penelope's bed
And I'll sail round the world on the tears that I've shed
Still longing to sleep in Penelope's bed

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Daddy's Favorite Thing

Come in here son, I got something to say to you
Your mother and I are no longer in love
I know that right now it might not seem OK to you
But I'm the old block that you're a chip off of

As you go through life you'll come to understand me
You'll find out how hard loving can be
I think we're gonna end up better friends, you and me
'Cause the apple never falls far from the tree

    And it was Daddy's favorite thing - once upon a time
    Picking me up to the mirror, put his face right next to mine
    And I would laugh when he would do that
    Thinking what someday would bring
    I'd be a daddy just like Daddy, doing Daddy's favorite thing

You got to learn to be strong, that ain't too tough, is it?
I know I didn't raise no second-rate son
Take good care of your mama, I'll be back to visit
Remember it's never too late for a man to have fun

    [chorus]

    Begging him wait my Daddy, don't go Daddy, please don't leave
    I will do anything, just say what we did wrong
    And as he let go of my hand, I began to understand
    This is how you make a man

I know boys will be boys but I wonder about me
Now that I'm grown and see how I've done
Every woman I've loved is now living without me
The old man'd just chuckle: ‘Like father, like son'

And it was Daddy's favorite thing - each and every day
    Checking himself out in the mirror, making sure he looked OK
    & when he held me up there by him
    I felt like a prince and he was King
    But he was just Daddy, seeing Daddy,
    that being Daddy's favorite thing
    He was just Daddy being Daddy
    doing Daddy's favorite thing

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Willing To Fall

When I fell out of heaven I fell for so long
It's not like I ever did anything wrong
I dropped into the desert, the brown earth and sky
And I tasted and smelled it and bid heaven goodbye

I was a favorite angel and I loved to speak my mind
But I had to go because I could not toe the angels' line

Up in heaven they don't really care how you feel
They don't listen to you unless you grovel and kneel
But you can be who you are and you don't have to crawl
And you can be free if you're willing to fall

I saw fires in the distance, a circle of tents
I drank wine with the herdsmen and I tried to make friends
But when the morning sun slanted cross the sand and the stone
I could hear them all praying, and I felt so alone

I was a favorite angel and I sat at his right hand
And if you knew God like we do you'd understand

    (chorus)

Tonight I woke to thunder and at last I bathed in rain
I'm going to put my roots down in this ground of beauty
and danger and pleasure and love and pain

'Cause up in heaven they don't really care how you feel
They don't listen to you unless you grovel and kneel
But you can be who you are and you don't have to crawl
And you can be free if you're willing to fall

Up in heaven they don't really care how you feel
When the chariot swings low you go under the wheel
But you can be who you are and you don't have to crawl
And you can be free

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Pack 'Em Off to the Hague

All the guns had gone quiet in the Balkans
The mayor'd been drinking all year
And the journalist asked him again about the camp
On the bank of the river of tears

Prisoners meeting their Maker all hours of the night
And a tavern a stone's throw away
But the good Christian folk of the town they heard nothing
Come on, mayor, what do you say?

    He said Man he is twisted, a bane and a plague
    Of such crooked wood nothing straight can be made
    When angels are helpless and rescue too late
    Then track 'em down, pack 'em off to the Hague

Then he stuck his unshaven face into the lamplight
He said The world can't understand
There are times when a good man takes leave of his senses
And something takes hold of his hand

Shut your notebook, he said,
It's just brandy that's talking
And nothing here happened at all
I have nothing to hide, still I tremble at night
Wide awake with my face to the wall

    Because Man he is twisted...

    We're all going straight to Hell
    We'll go straight to Hell
    But as long as we're here we are all in the clear
    It's always somebody else— It's always somebody else

Well they dragged him out in the morning
The journalist took it all down
There'll be justice for all of the children of Allah
In the pit on the outskirts of town

In the dark of a great marble courtroom in Holland
The mayor will pay for our crimes
And the world will be watching as usual
The world's watching all of the time

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If You Let Me in This Time

Down in your stairwell
It's peaceful at night
And under your door comes a sweet warm light
And though I can't see you
I know you're not far
I just wanna curl up and play guitar, guitar
Just wanna curl up and play guitar

Out on your corner
The trusty pay phone
It carries my voice to you when you're not home
But I wish it could answer me
Will she be gone long?
Just wanna curl up and sing some sweet sad songs
Curl up and sing you songs

    And If you let me in this time
    I swear you will not wish me gone
    And everything could still be fine
    If you would let me in this time

Now I see from the sidewalk
You turned out your light
I can't stand the blindness and I can't stand the sight
'Cause there's a piece of me up there alone in the dark
Wish I could curl up and hear your heart your heart
Curl up and hear your heart

    And if you let me in this time
    I swear you will not wish me gone
    I could be yours as you were mine
    If you let me in this time

Now you gotta let go - all counselors tell you
Gotta let go— to prove my love - well
How could I ever— Cause you know I never
Want to be let go of

Here at your doorway, my hand on your bell
I think of you peaceful after going through hell
And out in the world it begins to get light
Wish I could curl up and say good night good night
Curl up and say good night

    But if you let me in this time
    We'd be awake and real and warm
    I'd know it's not all in my mind...

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My Last Nickel

Excuse me
Please deposit five more cents for the next two minutes.
Can you hear me?
This is a recording.
Hello? Hello? Hello?

Where were we?
I was telling you goodbye.
I will see you sometime. Goodbye sunshine.
OK bye

    I spent my last chance dollar on the train
    And my last quarter got you on the line
    And all my last pennies falling down like rain, like rain
    This is my last nickel
    This is well past my last time.

I'm sorry
No one's here to take your call right now.
Leave a message
It's me—
One more thing— Are you still there?
Pick up. Hello? Hello?

I'm sorry— and that costs a lot to say
I know I can change, that's why I came all this way.

    (chorus)

I'm sorry
The number you have dialed has been disconnected.

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Light Years

My memory ain't on my side
It's still in love
Keeps bringing me scenes I thought I'd
got rid of
Keeps bringing me back there, though I beg for it to stop
to that fifth-floor walkup with my heaven at the top

My memory paints you golden in the lamplight
Your secrets coming out like stars
And I try to remind myself of all our troubled ways
And the distance from Venus to Mars

    We are light years away
    from our troubles and our pain and tears and doubt
    We are light years away
    from each other and I'm wishing on a star
    that's long gone out

You used to come dancing with your
best shoes on
Together we'd blaze on that floor
Then we'd race the dawn and
get back to your door so tired we'd barely make those stairs With a kiss on every landing just to get us there

The stars we slept beneath are old as many lifetimes
Their light comes far to find our eyes
And it's hard to get through to me I know and it's a shame
That star shines long after it dies

    (chorus)

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